


The Flight I

by free_cookiesx



Series: tma au! [3]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: can i get a flesh fundy?, hey how about flesh fundy?, how about hunt minx?, i honestly just wanted to get this posted so i could move on, the sand bit is in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26691280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/free_cookiesx/pseuds/free_cookiesx
Summary: Statement #0201609-various live recordings of encounters with the avatar known as Wilbur Soot.
Relationships: none haha, shippers if you're in here ill steal your face
Series: tma au! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918069
Comments: 7
Kudos: 71





	The Flight I

**Author's Note:**

> no tws for this one!! just if tma stuff in general squicks you out i wouldn't suggest reading :)

**[CLICK]**

**[CROWDED AREA, ANGRY FOOTSTEPS GRADUALLY HEADING INTO A QUIETER HALLWAY]**

**WILBUR**  
_(angry)_ I cannot believe that I let them find us, how could I have been so stupid, I'm not-

 **TUBBO**  
_(overlapping)_ Will-

 **WILBUR**  
-some sort of fool, I made sure to cover my tracks! But no, they can do some Beholding nonsense and-

 **TUBBO**  
_(louder)_ Will-

 **WILBUR**  
-they drag along the kid they're babysitting and- oh God, Tubbo he could have _killed_ you! And-

 **TUBBO**  
_(loudest)_ Will!

 **WILBUR**  
What?

 **TUBBO**  
Tommy was just giving me a pastry! He wasn't about to _kill_ me, Will, he's _Lonely,_ they don't _do_ things like the Eye!

 **WILBUR**  
He's close enough isn't he? Come on, Tubbo, we have to find a different ship before they can See us again, I-

 **NIKI**  
Hello.

 **WILBUR**  
Jesus! What are you-

 **NIKI**  
Here.

**[PAPER AND FABRIC RUSTLING]**

**NIKI**  
It's my number.

 **WILBUR**  
Why would I-

 **NIKI**  
Call it or don't- but I think we both would be better off if you kept it. Safe travels!

**[A SINGLE SET OF FOOTSTEPS WALKING AWAY]**

**[PAUSE, AND THEN-]**

**TUBBO**  
Her eyes were glowing pink, weren't they?

 **WILBUR**  
_(sigh)_ Yep.

 **TUBBO**  
And that means she was using her Eye powers?

 **WILBUR**  
Yep.

 **TUBBO**  
And… that means you should probably keep her number?

 **WILBUR**  
_(begrudgingly)_ Yep.

**[CLICK]**

****

**~*~**

**[CLICK]**

**[LOUD, BUSY STREET]**

**WILBUR**  
The kid’s too trusting, Minx. If he keeps hanging around all these CCTV aligned avatars I don't know what will happen to him!

 **MINX**  
_(Grainy, as if coming from a phone speaker)_ His Entity is different from yours, Wilbur. I know this, you know this, at this point yer jus’ askin’ for trouble!

 **WILBUR**  
You're not helping, you know.

 **MINX**  
I only speak the truth, Will. You can't keep ‘im safe forever!

 **WILBUR**  
I can at least teach him which Entities to stay away from! I just- oh.

 **MINX**  
What is it?

 **WILBUR**  
Hang on. I've got my eyes on a certain Flesh avatar I'd like to talk to.

 **MINX**  
Oooh, which one?

 **WILBUR**  
The furry.

**[HANGING UP BEEP]**

**WILBUR**  
_(Overly cheery and drawn out)_ Fundy!

 **FUNDY**  
Oh God.

 **WILBUR**  
_(Keeping up that false cheeriness)_ Fundy! My _man,_ my son, my favorite furry!

 **FUNDY**  
I'm not a-

 **WILBUR**  
Tell that to your _literal_ fox ears.

**FUNDY**  
_(Sputtering)_

**WILBUR**  
So- Fundy! What brings you to my neck of town, hm?

 **FUNDY**  
I needed to do business here.

 **WILBUR**  
Oh really? With who, might I ask?

 **FUNDY**  
What- Why does it even matter! Why are you talking to me in the first place?

 **WILBUR**  
Hmm. Well, you see, Fundy, there's a certain Archivist who has a kid around Tubbo’s age- I suppose he's trying to use his kid as a way to get closer to our little… organization.

 **FUNDY**  
And… you have a problem with this?

 **WILBUR**  
Of course!

 **FUNDY**  
Why _would_ you! They're recognized as an organization, they have funding, _and_ they have an Archivist! If anything we could at _least_ exploit them-

 **WILBUR**  
No let's stop there. Look, all I need is for you to frighten them a bit, you know? I know your specialty is animals but…

 **FUNDY**  
Yeah I'll rough ‘em up a bit. It's fine, it's not like I had any plans tonight.

 **WILBUR**  
Oh. Did you-

 **FUNDY**  
Yeah, with Eret. We were going to- ugh. Nevermind. Do you know where they are?

**[CLICK]**

****

**~*~**

**[CLICK]**

**[IN THE FOREST, SLOW AND SOFT CRUNCHES OF UNDERGROWTH]**

**WILBUR**  
Stop hunting me down! What do you even want from me?

 **GEORGE**  
We only want you to answer some questions for the Archivist-

 **DREAM**  
_(Distorted)_ We suggest you come quietly.

 **WILBUR**  
Like Hell!

**[DREAM SNARLS AND LEAPS AT WILBUR, WHO MAKES A SURPRISED NOISE OF PAIN]**

**[CLICK]**

****

**~*~**

**[CLICK]**

**[KEYS TAPPING, QUIET HUMMING IN THE BACKGROUND]**

**[SILENCE]**

**WILBUR**  
Have you ever eaten sand, Phil?

**[SOMEONE JUMPS, NEARLY FALLING OUT OF THEIR CHAIR]**

**ARCHIVIST**  
Jesus! What the- what are you doing here?

 **WILBUR**  
You could eat the sand. Might be faster.

**[PAUSE]**

**ARCHIVIST**  
Wilbur, I'm not going to eat the Minecraft sand.

 **WILBUR**  
If you eat the sand and put it somewhere better, it won't be in your way anymore.

**[PAUSE]**

**ARCHIVIST**  
Brilliant.

**[PAUSE]**

**ARCHIVIST**  
Have… Have _you_ eaten sand? Is this what we're talking about?

 **WILBUR**  
Yes I have.

 **ARCHIVIST**  
_(Sigh)_ Was it nice?

 **WILBUR**  
It gets in between your teeth and is fun to crunch on the car ride home.

 **ARCHIVIST**  
OHH- OKAY NOPE NOPE NOPE. That was- that was a horrible visual I just got in my brain. You had a strange childhood, Will, that's all I'm gonna-

 **WILBUR**  
This wasn't in my childhood, Phil.

 **ARCHIVIST**  
I- Wilbur, that's not good for you.

 **WILBUR**  
What's in it that's bad for me?

 **ARCHIVIST**  
Wh- It's literal rocks! You can't just eat rocks!

 **WILBUR**  
So is salt! What makes salt edible and sand inedible, please enlighten me.

 **ARCHIVIST**  
Does sand dissolve in water? I think not!

 **WILBUR**  
Any further questions? Or have I persuaded you?

 **ARCHIVIST**  
Chewing sand is basically inviting fiberglass into your system!

 **WILBUR**  
I invite fiberglass into my system, formally.

 **ARCHIVIST**  
You- you've lost it, dude.

 **WILBUR**  
My teeth grow perpetually like a hamster.

 **ARCHIVIST**  
(cutting in) WHAT?

 **WILBUR**  
Akin to a hamster I must chew sand so the teeth don't puncture my skull and kill me.

 **ARCHIVIST**  
You're on some- What are you on, dude?

 **WILBUR**  
It's quite similar to the taste of pretzels.

 **ARCHIVIST**  
You need to stop, dude. Where are you even getting sand to begin with?

 **WILBUR**  
Any convenience store, construction sites…

 **ARCHIVIST**  
Okay-

 **WILBUR**  
Hourglasses, fish tanks…

 **ARCHIVIST**  
Stop what you’re doing right now-

 **WILBUR**  
Crematoriums…

 **ARCHIVIST**  
_(Laughing a little)_ Okay let’s stop this right now, please get out of my house.

 **WILBUR**  
_(A teasing smile heard in his voice)_ Okay. Bye-bye, Archivist!

 **ARCHIVIST**  
I- See you?

**[A WARP NOISE, AS IF SOMEONE IS TELEPORTING IN]**

**ARCHIVIST**  
Who’s-

 **WILBUR**  
_(Suddenly serious)_ Also- stop sending your lackeys after me. The green one is starting to get on my nerves.

**[A WARP NOISE OUT]**

**ARCHIVIST**  
Who was… whatever.

**[CLICK]**

****

**~*~**

**[CLICK]**

 **WILBUR**  
So. Why did you ask to meet me in this decrepit old house? I can't imagine it was for pleasure.

 **NIKI**  
You're right. You're a Stranger avatar- good at keeping secrets?

 **WILBUR**  
Of course.

 **NIKI**  
Good. I need your help.

**[CLICK]**

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! if this crosses any boundaries please let me know!!


End file.
